Have you ever contacted via phone the advertiser/seller of a thing you wanted to buy, agreed via phone to buy said thing, agreed not to see said thing before you bought said thing, written a $250 check to said seller, left said check at a designated spot for said seller to pay for said thing, assumed said thing was stored in a safe place described by said seller, then waited a year to determine if said thing existed in said place or in fact had never existed as said thing but only as an idea so appealing that all reason left you for the life of this transaction?

I have. Fuck.